The Longer Version (or "Cause I'm a homewrecker...and I'm...OLD!!!!")

For anyone interested (and yes David, mainly for you), this is how it all happened...
(PS David, there's no way to make the Ryan story short, so that's the exception to the case.)

Going back almost a year now (wow!) I had always seen this kid working at one of my favorite stores in the mall. For the safety of his protection (because I know most of my friends either have stalked him already in the mall, or will once reading this) I'll leave his store name out of it. His name is Joe however. I always thought he was adorable. I knew he was younger but he had an older look. He has glasses (which I'm a little bit of a sucker for), a great smile, and he looked scruffy. Totally Italian and hairy to boot and about my height, I would almost get nervous going in there.

I'm shy (shut up David) when it comes to meeting guys, unless I'm drunk of course. I can talk to anyone, but when I find them attractive, I get stupid and trip up over words and I usually get clumsy.

For example: When I first met my ex boyfriend Joseph, I was insanely attracted to him. While getting to know him better one night, we decided to go to Blockbuster and have a movie night. We're walking around Blockbuster and all I can think of is "Oh god. I'm gonna have to sit next to him during this movie alone for about 2 hours. Can I handle this??" and of course, lost in the middle of my own paranoid drama, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. He grabbed a copy of the movie "Woo" which was then on the new release wall and asked if I wanted to see it. We were walking and talking about it and since I'm not paying attention and I'm staring at him while having my freak-out session, I walked SMACK into a wall of videos, sending every video on the wall crashing to the floor all over me.

I. wanted. to. die.

He, of course, laughed his ass off and said "That's it. There's your nickname." and I said "What?", at this point red as an apple, and he said "Woo". And still, to this day, he calls me Woo and so do all his friends.

So, now having completely embarrassed myself, I tried to resign myself to having a good time for the rest of the night and trying to forget what I had done.

That was, until I got home and completely walked into the coffee table in the middle of his living room and sent all the books and other stuff on it flying to the floor.

I then sat on the couch and wouldn't move till it was time to leave. I thought for sure I would never see him again. Apparently though it made him like me more. Call me crazy but I don't know if I would date a human time bomb but he found it endearing lol.

Having said that, let me get back to my story.

So alot of time went by (I even moved to Vegas during this time), never speaking to my little retail crush. Along the way my friends would harrass me to say something, and even dared to call him and give him my number. Thank God that never happened!

Rewind to about 2 weeks ago, roughly.

One of my friends was in the mall and told me he saw him in his store and said I should "go there and get" my man. Haha!

I grabbed Chris and dragged him to the mall. When we got there, he was sitting outside the entrance smoking a cig. Chris had to go to his store (Bath & Body Works) for something and I waited on the bench. I saw him come into the mall and went into CVS downstairs.

Now, approaching the level of stalker, Chris came out and I said that he wasn't in his store yet, so we should go to Hollister and kill some time till he gets back. Hah!

Finally, we made it to his store and I was just milling around, making eye contact, smiling and stuff and actually, they had a really cute pair of camouflage pants that I wanted so I tried on two pairs, hoping that they would fit, which of course they didn't.

I'm not going to go on about my ever constant dilemma with trying to find pants, but I was mouthing off to Chris as we were walking around the store. Joe must've heard me cause as I was paying for the shirt I ended up buying...

Joe: Um, is there something I can help you with?
Me: No, I just get frustrated when it comes to buying pants. I'm very tall as it is, so length is always a problem to begin with. Then, add to the fact that I have huge thighs, hips and a big ass, and it just makes the problem worse. The pants are always either too long or too short and the only way to get them around my legs is if I buy them like two sizes bigger. However, then the waist is too big and it's uncomfortable. ::sigh:: It's a problem I've had for a long time and I get very defeated when I go shopping.
Joe: I know I have the same problem.
Me: Tell me it doesn't suck!!
Joe: Well, the next time you come in, lemme know and I'll try to help you find something.
Me: Alright, well, hi. I'm John.
Joe: Hey, I'm Joe
::we shake hands::
Me: Thank you! I'll talk to you later!

So as we're walking out, I turn around to look at him and we made eye contact. I smiled and kept walking because I'm a chicken.

Chris told me I should've said something, but I clammed up. I said that it was a step and that maybe next time when I went in I would.

I woke up the next morning and logged into MySpace and BAM! There it was:

I had a friend request from him.

That caught me off guard. So I figured if there's one thing I'm good with, it's writing. So I sent him a short, witty, small-talk message and figured this would be a good starting point.

God bless MySpace lol

The e-mails then started. Every night back and forth to one another. It was great.

There was a problem though (and isn't there ALWAYS??)... He was dating someone.

I definitely gave him props for telling me because I've been in many a situation where men have tried to date me AND someone else at the same time. It never works out though, probably due to the fact that I'm alot to handle. Yes David, I know this. lol

So sometime around a week later, I went back to the mall to get sweats for when I go workout because the ones I had were held together by about 3 threads. I told him I might come to the mall and did he want me to visit. He said yes and that he'd be bothered if I didn't.

Alright, good.

So I did. We talked (for the first time, for more than 3 minutes) and it was great. Conversation was easy and he was funny and smart which is a nice change from most of the people I end up dating lol. It also came out that he's a stoner (score!!) and he's out the closet (another score!!) but that whole boyfriend thing was going to be problematic.

As he was ringing me up this time, he asked me for my number. We both pulled our phones out (we have the same phone btw) and swapped. I told him I was a texting whore and he said the same. Awesome!

Now, I'm not really into homewrecking (shut up David) so I had to approach this one with caution. While on one hand I did want to hang out with him and get to know him better, I didn't want to become a source of pressure or guilt which inadvertantly did happen.

Somewhere around week three, he informed me that he told his "less than a boyfriend but more than a friend" (his words) that he did in fact have a crush on me. I asked him why he told him that and he said that he almost felt guilty about our communication. Damnit.

I knew at this point it would only be a matter of time.

I had sent him a message and I was very upfront and honest and told him that I didn't want to hang out with him while he was with someone and I don't like being "the other woman" nor am I anyone's Plan B.

After that, a day or two had gone by with minimal contact. I told him he had to figure out his current situation before anything could happen with us.

Well, as it turned out, his situation figured itself for him.

He sent me a text message during the day, about 3 days ago that asked "Have I missed my opportunity to hang out with you?" and I asked him why he would say that. He said that with everything that was going on, he thought maybe the moment had passed.

I said that it didn't but I stood firm in what I had said.

I asked him if he was working because I had to go to the mall anyway. They were doing a bridal expo and one of my friends was singing in it and I was going there to see her. He said that he wasn't working but he did have to go by his store for something. I told him to text me when he got there and maybe we would meet up for a bit to chat.

We met up at his store and went to see my friend sing. When she was done and we were walking around the first thing I said to him was "So what exactly is your situation now before we go any further?" He told me that he was in fact single and that his boyfriend broke it off with him before he could get the opportunity to do the same.

So that was a good thing for me lol. I did however apologize cause I told him I didn't wanna be the poison in his relationship, which I fear I ended up becoming anyway.

Not much I can do about that now lol. We walked around the mall and just talked aimlessly and then we decided to chill for the rest of the night. I dropped my car off at his house and we drove around in his.

First things first. I drive everywhere. I'm not used to being the passenger. While I wouldn't say I'm a control freak (stop laughing David), I don't like being without my car. I relented control and got driven around which was kinda nice.

It was nice driving and talking to him. It's the first time in a long time that I've enjoyed someone's conversation and it's stayed interesting. We both have a problem with rambling and it was great. It just went from tangent to tanget and he's just as scatterbrained as I am. I guess it's a stoner thing lol...

After going to pick up some weed (from a very weird girl who was movie obssessed) We ended up meeting up with two of his girlfriends who I absolutely adored. He remarked at how he can put me in any situation and I'm so comfortable. That's me, the human sponge lol.

The four of us went back to his house (he lives with his parents but he has the whole basement to himself) and watched some TV.

We were on the couch next to each other and were doing the "I don't really wanna make the first move to get closer to this guy so I'll just do it very slowly thing". Finally, when his legs were touching mine, I put a hand on his leg and then our shoulders were leaning on each others. I just looked at him and said "Can I lay on you?" and he said yes.

I leaned over, put my head on his shoulder (cue Paul Anka) and curled my arms around his. He put his hand on my leg and started rubbing and I passed out.

It was wonderful. One of those heart skipping "oh my god I can't believe I'm here after having a crush on him for so long" kinda things.

I didn't even kiss him aside from a goodbye peck on the lips that HE jumped in for.

Tonight we are going to meet up again and I cannot wait! I'm moving with this one very slowly. I don't wanna f**k it up.

So let's see what happens. The story will continue...

Till Then,
John Michael

"My friends say you should be mine but I say I'm just taking my time. Cause I've been there and I've done that before. And if you want another chance you've gotta give me more. You've seen it once. You've seen it twice. It's the real thing coming at you now. You're holding on so hold tight. It's the real thing waiting for you."
- Rachel Panay "The Real Thing"