It's over now. You walk away. After 'goodbye', there's nothing left to say...
I don't get it. Really I don't... Why is it always when things seem to be going good, something, usually out of my control, happens and we're back to square one.
Joe, the boy that I had written about a few blogs ago, and I are done...seemingly even before we started...and I don't even understand what went on.
All I know was that the last time I saw him, things were great. We had an awesome night and I was excited. Then after that, he seemed distant.
Everyone said I was being neurotic, but I know when something's wrong.
Yesterday I called twice and left two texts and all day: Nothing.
So I wrote a final text at 2AM and then I was woken up to a reply around 5AM...This was the simple convo that went on:
Me: Not gonna lie. I'm kinda confused. Been tryin to get ahold of ya all day with no response. Feels like you're not really that interested. If you're not then at least lemme know. I don't wanna be a burden and I feel like it's a stretch to talk to you now and that I'm hassling you...
Joe: I'm sorry for doing this... I get myself so scared and I withdraw. I don't know what's wrong with me but anytime something good comes my way I head for the hills. I'm really afraid of getting hurt and more so afraid of hurting you which I feel like I'm already doing. :/ I don't wanna do that anymore.
Me: I don't wanna give up though! I really think that if given a chance, that this has a possibility of going somewhere. I understand what you're feeling and it's valid but I just want the opportunity to try. Please don't withdraw yet and give this a chance...
Joe: You're so nice and I'm such a prick... I feel like I'm gonna ruin everything. Just gimme some time to think about it...
Me: Ok then...so should I make other plans then for tonite?
Joe: Yeah, I guess...
Me: :( Wow. I really didn't see this comin. Do what you've gotta do I suppose... I'll be around...
And that was it. I feel like I just stepped out of a hurricane. I'm confused and wondering what to do...
Help anyone?
Till Then,
John Michael
"I dream of worlds where you'd understand. And I dream a million sleepless nights. I dream of fire when you're touching my hand. But it twists into smoke when I turn on the light. I'm speechless and faded. It's too complicated. Is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends?"
- Kay Hanley "You Don't See Me"
Joe, the boy that I had written about a few blogs ago, and I are done...seemingly even before we started...and I don't even understand what went on.
All I know was that the last time I saw him, things were great. We had an awesome night and I was excited. Then after that, he seemed distant.
Everyone said I was being neurotic, but I know when something's wrong.
Yesterday I called twice and left two texts and all day: Nothing.
So I wrote a final text at 2AM and then I was woken up to a reply around 5AM...This was the simple convo that went on:
Me: Not gonna lie. I'm kinda confused. Been tryin to get ahold of ya all day with no response. Feels like you're not really that interested. If you're not then at least lemme know. I don't wanna be a burden and I feel like it's a stretch to talk to you now and that I'm hassling you...
Joe: I'm sorry for doing this... I get myself so scared and I withdraw. I don't know what's wrong with me but anytime something good comes my way I head for the hills. I'm really afraid of getting hurt and more so afraid of hurting you which I feel like I'm already doing. :/ I don't wanna do that anymore.
Me: I don't wanna give up though! I really think that if given a chance, that this has a possibility of going somewhere. I understand what you're feeling and it's valid but I just want the opportunity to try. Please don't withdraw yet and give this a chance...
Joe: You're so nice and I'm such a prick... I feel like I'm gonna ruin everything. Just gimme some time to think about it...
Me: Ok then...so should I make other plans then for tonite?
Joe: Yeah, I guess...
Me: :( Wow. I really didn't see this comin. Do what you've gotta do I suppose... I'll be around...
And that was it. I feel like I just stepped out of a hurricane. I'm confused and wondering what to do...
Help anyone?
Till Then,
John Michael
"I dream of worlds where you'd understand. And I dream a million sleepless nights. I dream of fire when you're touching my hand. But it twists into smoke when I turn on the light. I'm speechless and faded. It's too complicated. Is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends?"
- Kay Hanley "You Don't See Me"
posted by DJ John Michael at 6:42 AM
4 Comments:
aw hunny. men suck...and not in the good ol' life affirming sorta way. **hug**
I'm very sorry you're going through a low. But from what I understand, he's telling you the truth. He's not a good boyfriend (for whatever reasons)& certainly not ready for a relationship. It (most likely) has nothing to do with you. Your calling and calling & texting and texting him is sort of desperate sounding. One call a day, anything more than that this early in a relationship is too much and suffocating. That is, unless you have agreed to be joined at the cell phone. Now the key in this type of situation, is to not play the victim. Don't be "why do they always leave me?" You're attitude should be who will be the lucky guy to get me. Men can sense confidence just as good as they can sense desperation. Which do you exhude?
Im pretty sure I exude confidence and David can back me up on it. lol
some say "confidence", others say "intimidating". i say "The guy was killed in an auto accident! I looked it up! He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who's an ex-con named Frances, when a tractor trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that mean, it means he doesn't have a head. How am I suppose to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no lips, no vocal cords. What do you want me to do?"
Post a Comment
<< Home