It's all I'm waiting for. I've never felt so sure...

Here's some cold hard facts: I'm getting older.

I know, I know, I can't believe it either.

I'm starting to get to the age now where things that didn't matter, do, and things that seemed so important aren't.

My parents are getting older. My nephew is getting older. Time just keeps ticking and I really see what people mean when they say you have to make the most out of life.

This could be a big reason why I've spent a good majority of my life avoiding the "big boy jobs" and Corporate America. Truthfully, as much as I do wanna make SICK money, I just don't know if I could deal with looking back at my life 20, 30 years from now and seeing that all I did was work. Aside from the occasional 3 or 4 day weekend and my one vacation I get a year.

Now, if you know me, you know I've never really been a worry-wart when it comes to just about anything. Granted, this is in large part due to the fact that I have an amazing family who, when push comes to shove, will bend over backwards for each other to help the other out. I got lucky like that.

And yes, my father has been an amazing provider and has worked SO hard for his family for so many years and retirement is right around the corner. That's awesome. NOW, at almost 60 he'll be able to have the time to do everything he ever wanted to but can he? He's gotten older, so has my mom, they can't do what they used to and I feel like that's just one of life little fuck-overs.

It's like "Hi. You've worked ALL your life and you've put so many hours into this big machine we call America and now, when you have ailments, arthritis and lack energy we'd like to reward you with some free time."

Well that just sucks out loud.

And I've done it. I've worked 2 different "9 to 5" jobs and both, as you can see, just didn't work out. It's just not who I am.

Does that make my future a little uncertain? Maybe even a lil harder to plan? Perhaps, but when have I NOT been up to a challenge?

As long as my bills get paid though, I don't see the big problem. Granted, I don't plan on being a receptionist at a hair salon for the rest of my life, but then again, I have no idea what will happen.

I like being able to move my schedule around to fit in vacations whenever I want. I can't imagine, because I've done it, spending all of my life waiting for 5PM, Friday night.

Now, I'm not knocking my 9 to 5-ers out there. Like I said, my dad is one of them. I guess that this goose just doesn't want what's good for the gander.

There are pro's and con's to this attitude I suppose. Most people will cry to me about pensions and 401K's and stuff like that and yes, I know that this is all well and good but the more important things to me have always been my health, my family, smiling, laughing and actually ENJOYING life and LIVING it instead of just working my way through it.

I have the rest of my life to put into the machine. I'm just not ready.

Perhaps I have the Peter Pan Syndrome and I just don't wanna grow up. I'm a Toys R Us kid.

Who knows? Whatever the reason is, it is who I am and for right now, it works in my life.

Whenever you read this, I urge you to go out and do something for yourself that makes you infinitely happy. Buy something, help someone, hug someone.

You'll thank me later.

Till Then,
John Michael

"I'm tired of laughing and I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of failing and I'm tired of all this trying. I wanna do some living cause I done enough dying. I just wanna dance! I just wanna fuckin DANCE!!!!!!"
- Jerry Springer: The Opera feat Alison Jiear "I Just Wanna Fuckin Dance" (Wayne G Mix)