It's just another saturday night with Mr. Almost not Mr. Right...
At the risk of sounding like a Carrie Bradshaw voice over from Sex & The City, I kinda wonder sometimes... Where has all the romance gone in dating?
Have we just given up on the idea of a real ever-after or are we just looking for that instant satisfaction of a fumbled hour or so in the dark?
The reason why I ask this is not only because of personal experience (Lord knows I've been on some bad dates lately) but because of what I've seen and heard from others in the same boat as me.
For instance: I have a friend who just got out of a serious relationship. He didn't exactly take it very well and he's (finally!) just got back into the dating game. He told me his story of the great guys he met on Sat night (yes, two of them), but one lives in Maryland (I've been down THAT road before!) and the other one is a little younger, but adorable.
The younger one he invited over last night for a get together we were having. He decided to make Sunday dinner and me and about 5 of me guy friends came by to have some wine, BS and generally discuss the Gays Of Our Lives this week. Hah!
However, when this kid showed up later on after dinner, not only was he standoff-ish, but he was borderline rude. He walks in, barely says hi to any of us, not counting the head nod he gave when my friend was introducing us all, and then spent the next 20 minutes in the kitchen on the phone with one of his friends.
Now, call me old fashioned, but anytime I was ever going to meet a guy that I had met's friends, I was always MORE than polite and overly friendly. There's only one chance for that first impression. So when he finally did join us all to watch a bootleg of The Devil Wears Prada (yup! We're THAT gay!), we were already over him.
My friend however seemed unphased by his behavior and then spent all night cuddling and kissing our silent friend. We, on the other hand, were all taking our bets with one another via text messages lol...
Granted, I myself was pretty relaxed and a little quiet due to the full bottle of Shiraz I finished off by myself, but even at my quietest I was more engaging than him.
I don't know about you, but I find that kind of behavior off-putting and I would've definitely said something, but alas, it's not me we're talking about.
It just gets me because it seems that this type of situation is almost acceptable these days. That we've gotten to the point where gay men seem to have a big problem relating to one another in a way other than sex or friendship. Even though alot of times, those lines themselves seem to get blurry.
Another friend of mine is in a relationship and has been for about 5 months now. When they're together, they look like the cutest couple, but one half wants to spend more alone time and the other one always wants to hang out with his friends WITH the boyfriend too. And that's fine, but that half doesn't seem to recognize the problem the other is having with this. I've talked my friend through alot of frustrations with this, because I do believe that they do care about each other alot, but it just seems weird to me.
How many times can you discuss the same problem with no resolution?
Or should I say, when is enough, enough?
Last night while I was out at Cielo in NYC (Junior Vasquez: The Twilo Sessions--AMAZING!), I was approached by this very attractive, shirtless man, named Paul. He saw me singing along to one of the songs Junior was playing and wanted to know the name of it. We then started a conversation which was moving along smoothly, even though I could tell he wasn't in the most sober of situations, and strange enough, we were both planning on going to the same party in February because it was the start of our birthday weeks.
The Saturday before my birthday, Junior is doing a "10 Years Of Arena" anniversary and to say I'm excited is an understatement. When he said he was going there for his b-day too, I asked when his was and wouldn't you know, it's the same day as mine! Huh!
So we chatted and I found out he was in fact "partying" a bit, which I can't condemn only because I've done enough drugs in my life to kill El Salvador, but him being 4 years older than me and still doing it (not even at a BIG event) was a little bothersome to me.
Paul is 30 years old, Cuban (Hottttt!), and an Actor/Cater Waiter (Yes David, ANOTHER waiter!!!) and he lives in NYC. He took my number because he said he wanted to call me cause I was SO cute and blah blah blah...
Who knows really? But I doubt anything will happen. Besides, do I really want to get involved with someone who's "partying" on random weekends of unimportance? I've seen that movie before and I know how it ends.
What can I say? This is just another scene in the cinema of myself.
Gay men always seems to do the things that they say they hate that other men do. Out of one corner of their mouth they want the house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a dog and a partridge in a pear tree, but then on the other corner of their mouth, they wanna be plowed (or plow someone else) every night of the week.
I feel like we are our own worst enemy sometimes.
Fellas, decide which side of the fence you're on get back to me. I think we'd all have alot more respect for one another if we did...
Till Then,
John Michael
"My analyst stressed, 'Lady, this could take years!'. He says I'm depressed from having suppressed my innermost fears. And so I pay him too much in an effort at feeling in touch. It's all so complex. And it's all about sex!!? When did romance become declasse`? When did we make 'i love you' passe? Tell me, where is the moonlight and champagne and roses? Is this anyway to fall in love...?"
- Linda Eder "Is This Anyway To Fall In Love"
Have we just given up on the idea of a real ever-after or are we just looking for that instant satisfaction of a fumbled hour or so in the dark?
The reason why I ask this is not only because of personal experience (Lord knows I've been on some bad dates lately) but because of what I've seen and heard from others in the same boat as me.
For instance: I have a friend who just got out of a serious relationship. He didn't exactly take it very well and he's (finally!) just got back into the dating game. He told me his story of the great guys he met on Sat night (yes, two of them), but one lives in Maryland (I've been down THAT road before!) and the other one is a little younger, but adorable.
The younger one he invited over last night for a get together we were having. He decided to make Sunday dinner and me and about 5 of me guy friends came by to have some wine, BS and generally discuss the Gays Of Our Lives this week. Hah!
However, when this kid showed up later on after dinner, not only was he standoff-ish, but he was borderline rude. He walks in, barely says hi to any of us, not counting the head nod he gave when my friend was introducing us all, and then spent the next 20 minutes in the kitchen on the phone with one of his friends.
Now, call me old fashioned, but anytime I was ever going to meet a guy that I had met's friends, I was always MORE than polite and overly friendly. There's only one chance for that first impression. So when he finally did join us all to watch a bootleg of The Devil Wears Prada (yup! We're THAT gay!), we were already over him.
My friend however seemed unphased by his behavior and then spent all night cuddling and kissing our silent friend. We, on the other hand, were all taking our bets with one another via text messages lol...
Granted, I myself was pretty relaxed and a little quiet due to the full bottle of Shiraz I finished off by myself, but even at my quietest I was more engaging than him.
I don't know about you, but I find that kind of behavior off-putting and I would've definitely said something, but alas, it's not me we're talking about.
It just gets me because it seems that this type of situation is almost acceptable these days. That we've gotten to the point where gay men seem to have a big problem relating to one another in a way other than sex or friendship. Even though alot of times, those lines themselves seem to get blurry.
Another friend of mine is in a relationship and has been for about 5 months now. When they're together, they look like the cutest couple, but one half wants to spend more alone time and the other one always wants to hang out with his friends WITH the boyfriend too. And that's fine, but that half doesn't seem to recognize the problem the other is having with this. I've talked my friend through alot of frustrations with this, because I do believe that they do care about each other alot, but it just seems weird to me.
How many times can you discuss the same problem with no resolution?
Or should I say, when is enough, enough?
Last night while I was out at Cielo in NYC (Junior Vasquez: The Twilo Sessions--AMAZING!), I was approached by this very attractive, shirtless man, named Paul. He saw me singing along to one of the songs Junior was playing and wanted to know the name of it. We then started a conversation which was moving along smoothly, even though I could tell he wasn't in the most sober of situations, and strange enough, we were both planning on going to the same party in February because it was the start of our birthday weeks.
The Saturday before my birthday, Junior is doing a "10 Years Of Arena" anniversary and to say I'm excited is an understatement. When he said he was going there for his b-day too, I asked when his was and wouldn't you know, it's the same day as mine! Huh!
So we chatted and I found out he was in fact "partying" a bit, which I can't condemn only because I've done enough drugs in my life to kill El Salvador, but him being 4 years older than me and still doing it (not even at a BIG event) was a little bothersome to me.
Paul is 30 years old, Cuban (Hottttt!), and an Actor/Cater Waiter (Yes David, ANOTHER waiter!!!) and he lives in NYC. He took my number because he said he wanted to call me cause I was SO cute and blah blah blah...
Who knows really? But I doubt anything will happen. Besides, do I really want to get involved with someone who's "partying" on random weekends of unimportance? I've seen that movie before and I know how it ends.
What can I say? This is just another scene in the cinema of myself.
Gay men always seems to do the things that they say they hate that other men do. Out of one corner of their mouth they want the house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a dog and a partridge in a pear tree, but then on the other corner of their mouth, they wanna be plowed (or plow someone else) every night of the week.
I feel like we are our own worst enemy sometimes.
Fellas, decide which side of the fence you're on get back to me. I think we'd all have alot more respect for one another if we did...
Till Then,
John Michael
"My analyst stressed, 'Lady, this could take years!'. He says I'm depressed from having suppressed my innermost fears. And so I pay him too much in an effort at feeling in touch. It's all so complex. And it's all about sex!!? When did romance become declasse`? When did we make 'i love you' passe? Tell me, where is the moonlight and champagne and roses? Is this anyway to fall in love...?"
- Linda Eder "Is This Anyway To Fall In Love"
posted by DJ John Michael at 8:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home